I can't function well. My stomach hurts so much. I'm anxious for not getting workout today. My sleeping schedule jumbled up again. My mind is in full chaos due to loneliness of relationship. My house is a mess. My indoor plant is dying.

Let's fix it one by one, as we did countless of time before. And before you asked, no there's no big purpose on it. What we're about to do is just creating an order out of chaos.

Let's start from meal first. Let's wash the dishes. Been days since you wash it. We need that before we cook anything.

I can't pull myself to cook. My hand is trembling even while sorting out the plates.

order anything. Money is not an issue. Screw money. Order anything

Just did. Arriving in 30 mins. My stomach hurts. I'm vomiting.

take that pill for your stomach. This is 30 mins before meal

Done.

You did all you could do. Let's wash dishes while waiting for dinner

I'm having dinner. Watching Spy x Family

Okay, let's talk after

I'm done with my dinner. Watched one episode. I don't feel well in my mind.

We'll get there. Being well is the same as happiness, it's fleeting moment. Let's sweep the house

I just did, but I can't. I'm on my study room now. I guess it'd be better to do things from here for the time being. I'll take care of my other posts first. I want to say that...I do feel lonely. Deep inside, I don't think it's a lonely because absence of people, it feels lonely because I am out of touch with people around me. And the possible way to solve it is by opening up myself. Create the thing I want to create for so long without thinking of anything. Without thinking of life at all. Because once I think of life, I start comparing myself to the so called 'life' itself. And 'life' always entails people around us. In that way, I can never be full. I will feel lonely.